What do you fear? – Blog Project Day 8
I’m going to dig deeper for this post. There might be some surface level stuff that I fear, but I’m going to go for my biggest fear. Failure.
I’m a very critical guy. How things are done and the intention behind actions. I have a personal drive to make sure that things are done the best way possible. I have an inner monologue that questions everything. Is there a better way? How does this affect other people? What the most efficient way to handle this? I approach everything with an analytical eye. Its surprising sometimes that Erin can even put up with me. It’s one of those things that kind of permeates every part of me. The reason for this all comes from an intense fear of failure.
Simple failures like being late or spilling things to large failures like not making it through college, will play over and over in my head through that critical lens. What did I do wrong? How could I have changed the situation? What should I do next time? The fear is so ingrained that this questioning happens almost constantly.
I’m not sure what started this fear, but it affects me on a deep level. It has penetrated my decision making and the way that I view everyday situations. It even affects my interactions with other people. Is that weird?
What do you fear?