Where Have You Been?
Do you remember Roseanne? You know, the 90′s TV sitcom staring Roseanne Barr? Even if you don’t, on the show Roseanne’s oldest daughter was played by a two actresses. And in one season, after the second actress had played the role for a couple seasons, the original actress returns into her role and there is a moment on the show when Roseanne looks at her daughter and says, “Where have you been?” It was a coy tongue-in-cheek moment included by the writers as a joke referencing the casting changes. While that has nothing to do with anything here, I feel that this is a question you would be justified in asking me.
While I try to post 3-4 times each month its been more than 40 days since my last post. I would love to say I was fasting from this interaction but it simply wasn’t the case. I will however share with you a little about what I’ve been up to over the last 60 days, and what I see coming in the future.
Travel:
I have done a fair amount of traveling lately. I’ve been to Haiti, Chicago, Las Vegas, and Litchfield. Each trip was either extremely informative or emotionally moving.
In Haiti I was part of a team finishing up some work at an orphanage we started back in June. I’ll put up a more in-depth post on that soon but it was an extremely humbling trip. The Chicago visit was for the regional Church IT Roundtable. I always seem to grow and gain a new understanding of things when I can share with my peers in this setting. In Las Vegas, my boss and I overloaded our brains with the goings on in the Microsoft world. We have several large projects coming off the ground and this conference infused much needed information and energy into our efforts. Finally, I got to make history on Weekend #2 in Litchfield Illinois. It was a great weekend with some God loving guys. Big things are happening in that town.
Other Things:
In other news, I’m still married and I get to see my wife sometimes. I’m still helping with the churches new location, and I’m excited for the coming year. And I’m still doing the occasional special event or consulting engagement.
What’s Coming:
Getting back to regular updates. If I finished all the ideas I have at the moment It would take me through June. There are going to be some more personal posts, some nonsensical ones, and some in-between. That’s just how my mind works. Maybe I’ll even pull together a related series or two. I think you’ll like it, so hang in there. All four of you.
Thankful
Man do I have it good.
I’m not saying I’ve got the dream life with no worries, just that I realize how blessed I am. As my buddy Scott would say “I’m Due.”
I’m abundantly thankful for my family and friends, and the time I get to spend with them. I’m also thankful for a God who loves me.
I hope you are having a great Thanksgiving. Take some time to reflect on your blessings and be thankful.
Water, Water, Everywhere…
My buddy and I have a saying we use frequently.
“That’s a stupid problem to have.”
We use it in times when you have a situation that seems too ridiculous to be a problem, or issues that should have been taken care of. One issue that falls squarely in the stupid problem category is the number of people who lack access to clean water.
For us it’s in abundant supply. We are never too far from a tap or a fountain and most restaurants will give it to you free. But for so many people it’s completely out of reach. Lack of water sanitation and polluted waters cause illness and even death for thousands each week. While others still walk for miles just to get clean water. This isn’t like world peace, we can each make a difference for those who go without.
“How?”
Well I’m glad you asked. For starters we can just be more conservative of the water we use and how its used in the products we buy.
“What if we want to do more?”
Thats even better. You can partner with a charity that helps bring clean water to areas that need it. My wife and I donated to Living Water International as a part of their Advent Conspiracy last Christmas. And there are plenty of other charities that do good work as well. You can even just buy a pair of TOMS shoes if that’s your sort of thing.
“Anything Else?”
At the very least try to educate yourself on the matter. Maybe take a mission trip with a local organization. I spent some time in Haiti recently and it will truly open you eyes. This is a widespread issue that isn’t out of our reach. If nothing else sign the petition to help the UN bring clean water to those in need. Clean water should be available to everyone, and we can make that happen.
This post is a part of Blog Action Day 2010
My Car Stereo Taught Me A Lesson
Have you ever heard the song ‘I’m in a hurry’ by Alabama(Yeah I listen to country music, wanna fight about it?)
I’m in a hurry to get things done I rush and rush until life’s no fun
Well there was a time when that song described me to a T. Part of my personality is a bend toward efficiency. And it was taking over. I rushed everywhere, I sped in my car, and all for no reason. I would show up late to things just because I didn’t like being there early and waiting for things to start. I got so caught up in the hurry that it became a burden.
Now about the stereo. The stereo in my car has been broken for 1 or 2 years now. Not completely broken mind you. It still plays CDs and the radio and such, but the display no longer displays. I can’t see what radio station I’m listening to, or what track is playing. I can get by because I have memorized the button functions and I can navigate all of the features, but adjusting the audio settings…forget it.
Now why do you care about this? You probably don’t but stay with me. The feature that hit me the hardest was the clock. In all of my hustle, I would time things down to the minute by that clock. And now it was gone.
It was a reminder. Life is more that rushing from thing to thing and getting caught up in the busyness in life. I started taking the scenic route, and enjoying the beauty in the moment where I’m at. I stopped worrying about when I’m leaving or arriving and loving the journey. I know I sound cliche but it has made a huge difference for me.
Do you need to slow down?
Pray For Your Wife
Do you? Yeah I know that you do when somethings wrong or she has asked you to, but what about regularly and consistently praying for your wife?
You probably do already,which means you’re a better man than I was when I got married. Of course I only want the best for my wife and I take my responsibility as the spiritual head of our family seriously. But I admit that I needed a little push to get started praying for my wife. Now that it’s a regular part of my day, it feels silly that there was ever a time I didn’t do it. So maybe there is someone out there like me that just needs a little nudge to jump in.
I thought I would share the general outline I follow when praying. It originally started with a prayer card I was given that I have adjusted to fit me personally. It covers a lot of good areas and I interject any specific needs in where appropriate. I also make sure to take time to thank God for his work in any of the areas I pray about. How do you pray for your wife?
Lord, I lift up {Wife’s Name} to you today and I pray that she would know your will for her life, pleasing you in all respects and bearing fruit in every good work. I pray that she would be healthy, strong and have the stamina she needs today. I pray that you would release her from worry or guilt, for things she isn’t responsible for or in control of. I pray that her agenda and tasks today would go smoothly and that she would accomplish much. That {Her Mentor} would be a great influence and a godly mentor in her life. I pray that {Wife’s Name} would not gossip or keep company with those who do, and that you would give her discernment and wisdom and protect her from those who would deceive her. Lord I pray that you would be glorified in and through {Wife’s Name} life, that she would know you and grow in the knowledge and experience of you. I pray that you would keep her safe and protect her from despair, discouragement, and a lack of faith in the midst of any trials she might come up against. I pray that {Wife’s Name} would be morally pure and set apart for your service, that she would be one with you, one with me, and with her sisters in Christ, staying faithful to you always.
Lord, please help me to be the man {Wife’s Name} needs me to be. I know I can’t meet every need, but you can. So Lord help me to be caring and attentive toward {Wife’s Name}. To be sensitive to her concerns and to provide for her as I should. Help me to listen to what she says and to be courteous and thoughtful towards her and encouraging in her efforts. Lord help me to be alert to protect her and defend her against harm or insult. And give me the will and energy to share my heart and thoughts with her, and to tell her the things that may seem obvious and self-evident to me, but that may not be clear to her at all. Lord help me to be kind, appreciative and fun to live with. Amen
I Can Eat!
I like cake…a lot. And recently, while enjoying some cake, I had one of those thoughts that led me into marveling at Gods creation.
Have you ever done that? Just gotten lost in the beautiful intricacy that God spoke into existence?
Anyway, I started by thinking ‘this cake is pretty much just straight sugar’ yet somehow my body can find a way to use it (at least some of it). Then I thought how cool it is that the things we eat have the vitamins/nutrients/amino acids/peptides/other basic nutritional elements that we need to live. And that we have a digestion system that can separate the things we need and process them while discarding waste. How different would it be if we had the system found in plants? Could that system even support intelligent organisms like us? This train of thought continued for a while covering a number of systemic bodily functions that I wont bore you with here.
I’m done rambling. I remain amazed at the intricacy of Gods creation… This is just a glimpse of what goes on in my mind.
Does it matter what they think?
Yes it most certainly does. Because they are probably right.
There is a song that goes something like;
I am whatever you say I am. If I wasn’t then why would I say I am.
Now despite the actual direction and intent of the song, I want to use this line to get at some relatable truth. It’s all too common to hear people say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks.” But this is misguided. We should be aware of what others think about us. And furthermore, if what others think about us is untrue in some manner, why do they think that?
Now I am in no way suggesting that we worry ourselves with, or try to cater to the thoughts of other people. I’m only suggesting that we leverage them to better ourselves.
Romans 12:3 says
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly that he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
We are supposed to have a ‘sober’ view of ourselves. A view of ourselves free of influence. How can you have that without a view from the outside. You already know the reason and intent behind your thoughts and actions. That view, however, is isolated to you. The rest of the world is standing on the outside looking in. So to really have an accurate, objective view we have to consider the way we are perceived.
The other factor is that we (as people) are not that great at judging ourselves. There are studies that show that most people overestimate themselves and their abilities. Personal bias and cultural upbringing can tint your view of yourself. We should find ways to take off the ‘glasses’ we look through to see the world. To become more aware of how they affect our perception, and use that to build a more sober viewpoint.
Try to get some accurate feedback on the way others perceive you, and use it to make the world see who you really are.
Chuck and Servanthood
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because the only element Chuck Norris recognizes is the element of suprise
Once I was trained up and I had learned the ropes, they knew I was the type of working they could trust to handle a department by himself. Now the nature of the lumber department makes it very difficult to run on your own. There is equipment that requires 2 people to operate, 3 product call areas(the buttons you can push that play the message, “Assistance is needed in…) and lots of heavy stuff to load on to carts and into vehicles. While working the department alone, you relied heavily on people in other departments. Most people were very helpful, but some would say…
That’s not my job.
Those words still make me cringe. And for the life of me I couldn’t understand where that mindset came from. We all wore the same color vest, surely they could lend a hand when I had more customers than I could handle(I’m looking at you flooring.) Suffice it to say that when certain other departments might need coverage help I wouldn’t feel very eager to lend a hand. Then I would remember an interaction I had with Chuck.
It was closing time one night during the spring. We were finishing things up in our department, sweeping and straightening and such, when we got a call. The garden center needed help. They were swamped all day and now things were a mess. As we grabbed our brooms and headed towards the garden center, Chuck said to me:
They don’t use their time wisely and wait until the last minute to clean up. Now half the people are out the door and we are cleaning up their department. Do you ever see them down here when we need help?
*Sigh*
But that’s not what its about.
Now I hope you didn’t get caught up in the first part of what Chuck said. He was venting, it’s the last part that sticks with me. Our day was busy too, so there was some brief frustration when told that instead of being done, there was some ‘extra’ work for us in another department. But it’s the last part that matters. Its not about reciprocity, or being fair, its about doing what’s right.
You know, when we got down to the garden center and helped them clean up, we all had a pretty good time. They were good people and were very grateful for the help. When you lay down all the pride and pretense and just serve other people , it can be a great time.
Chuck and Humility
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win… Forever.
“I’m too good for this job. I was meant to bear my workload in my mind not over my shoulders. But I kept my head up. The school thing was a bump in the road, but I landed on my feet and got a job quickly even if it is a job that’s ‘below’ me.” These are the type of thoughts that were going through my head when I started working at the store. My future, as I saw it, was no longer an option. And even in the midst of a huge failure, I was still very proud. And I took that pride with me everywhere I went. But then things like this started to happen.
Them: “How is school going?”
Me: “I got kicked out”
*puzzled look*
Them: “Ha, good one. Like that would happen. So schools good?”
Me: “No I actually got kicked out. I don’t go to [College Name] anymore.”
*Smiles gone and the conversation ends*
Over and over again I had this interaction. Each time it broke me. Having to re-experience the failure, the disappointment, and the sadness connected with it until after a while there was nothing left. At that point I was a zombie, just going through the motions.
But Chuck, he was a great worker. He was knowledgeable not just about the products but how to use them. He would give tips to help with the project or go over gotchas so the customers weren’t caught by surprise. In fact, the longer I worked with him, the longer I wondered why he was working at this store. He could have been a general contractor or something similar with the skill-set he possessed. He was better than this job too.
When we worked together, Chuck would share stories with me about his family. His wife and kids, things he did in his off time. He even invited me to his house for breakfast one day. He would share with me stories about he and his wife, or lessons he had taught(or tried to teach) to his kids, and that’s when I saw it. Working in the lumber department, wasn’t Chuck’s job, being a husband and father was. Sure he would be at that store a lot over a week, but it was the moments he shared with his family that really counted. He had ‘work’ to do, but that work just allowed him to support his family, and with a view like that how can your perception stay the same.
I realized that I too had a purpose, and I’m not too good for any work that will help me get to, or accomplish, my purpose. I had a new view on the work I was doing. If chuck can be more educated and experienced than the typical worker at the store, I can as well. Its an opportunity to serve not be a slave, it developing me not defining me, it’s the removal of prideful desires and replacement of God given purpose.
To say that my time with Chuck was humbling is an understatement. God used this time to completely destroy who I thought I was, and point my heart towards him.
Chuck and Discipleship
I’m not even sure how I got a job in the lumber department. I’m a computer guy, the only thing I had built was a bird house(and my uncle provided most of the work there). But they brought me on anyway, gave me my vest and introduced me to Chuck. I was going to be working beside him to learn the ropes. Things like: what pressure treated lumber is and when to use it, how to mix and pour concrete, and how to figure how many squares of shingles were required for a roofing job(and what a square of shingles is). The first few weeks I’m sure were a disaster.
I had no clue what I was doing. Most of the time, if I was alone I felt like I was drowning. Questions about the proper nails to use(16 pennywhat?) and how to build a deck left me feeling inadequate and stupid. But Chuck was right there next to me. If there were things I didn’t know how to do, he would step in and teach me as he helped the customer. And in the unsteady moments when I was still learning he would provide the reassurance to keep me going. He would go over the interactions I had to show me where I had gone wrong, or to praise the things I did well. If I couldn’t answer a question, he would step in and answer it. Afterward he would tell me the reasoning behind the answer so I was learning more than just the right answer. Chuck had a cool temperament and gave me the room to learn and grow in my job. Chuck genuinely cared about my training. To him it was more than just a series of motions to go through, it was a mindset a way of life.
Looking back over the experience, its amazing how big the impact was that Chuck had on me. He was a great trainer and an amazing person. When I was working with Chuck I felt like I had a friend on my side, someone who had my back. And I knew that if I needed anything, or if I got into trouble he would be there. He naturally gravitated to leadership wisdom that some only learn through years of training. I’m not even sure if he had a college degree, but it didn’t matter. Chuck’s training prepared me for the work ahead of me, in the home improvement store and in life.
Chuck wasn’t just training me he was discipling me. When I disciple someone I want it to be like that.